Why I Stopped

If you are one of the few people who still come around to see if I’ve added anything new lately, hang on to your seat. I’m finally back! I decided to stop blogging unless I truly had something to say, and today I do. Today I’m going to spill the beans, one and for all, and tell you the real reason why I stopped freelance writing.

The rat-race tired me out. (AKA: I got tired of running around the same wheel over and over.)

After giving it my all for years, I have finally drawn the conclusion that in order to be a freelance writer and earn a decent living from it, you really need to have lots of boundless energy. I just don’t. I’ve never been that type of person. I tried really hard to squeeze myself into that box, but truthfully, I didn’t fit.

Freelancing journalism is, for the most part, an endless cycle of marketing yourself and churning out endless ideas to people who may, or may not, be receptive to them. Quite frankly, I don’t handle rejection very well, I do have thick skin, but I don’t find it enjoyable hearing, "No, thanks" time and again.

Freelancing online is very much the same, except much more marketing mixed in. It’s a constant scramble to win the next client, or keep the few good ones you have. Before long, I found myself entangled in the chase and hating the writing more and more when I actually did write. Not good.

I wasn’t part of an "in" crowd. (AKA: I grew weary of backhanded remarks and rude people who were inauthentic.)

Did that one take you by surprise? I tried for a very long time to "fit in" online, but the truth is, much akin to real-life, I will never be part of a "popular" crowd. I’m not saying you have to be part of a clique to succeed as an online freelance writer, but the truth is, if you don’t run with the crowd, you’re pretty much nobody. I found that out really quick. And if you do something the "in" crowd doesn’t like, well, you’d better watch your back because they will blacklist you quicker than you can inhale a fresh breath.

Again, I’m only speaking from my personal experience.

Writing became an arduous task. (AKA: I hated writing the stuff I was selling myself to write because…it was what I thought I had to do to build a career.)

At the risk of sounding really awful, I truly hated writing the stuff I was contracted to write. I started to feel like a writer-prostitute. I’d sell my writing soul for just about any job that came along. Again….because I’d been taught and told (repeatedly) by "experts" that in order to launch and build a successful career as an online freelance writer, I had to basically accept the meaningless jobs and work my way up from there.

It was painful, to say the least. In the beginning, it was okay because I excited about carving a career for myself from something I truly enjoyed doing. But eventually I grew to hate it immensely. It sucked the joy out of writing for me.

Naturally, at that point, I started to ask myself why I was continuing day after day, when I could work a J-O-B outside the home and be just as miserable. So why be miserable AT home?!

It wasn’t easy for me to decide to stop what I was doing. But it was the right thing for me. I know I’ll never go back to that type of writing. I’m not saying I’ll never have a career as a writer, but I’ll never go back to writing things I hate to write, just so I can say I’m a "paid writer." What’s the point in that? If there’s no joy in it, what is there?

The moral of this story: Don’t stay stuck in something if it makes you miserable. No matter what "it" is.

Whether it’s your job, a relationship, or whatever it is, if you are miserable you should stop and ask yourself WHY. What’s making you miserable? Is it something superficial, or is it something deeper, with more merit? If so, you really should figure out how to work your way out of it. Life is too short to live every day a miserable existence.